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And there will be contradictions.

Every moment lived is more like a moment thought of. Only you remember it, especially if it is particularly unimportant. It makes obsessing over actions and conversations seem completely irrelevant . Anxiety will be something ever relevant in my life, and I hope many people are able to not cope, but understand it. It is the worrying without end, maybe the transfixed attention on a minor detail. Forever I will promise to flip it into a positive situation, and not compromise piece of mind, it is like being two people, one feigning  comfortability, the other shouting warnings in plain sight. Forever and always I will be laid back while panicking, relaxed while aggravated and tired while wide awake. A contradiction, if this was new maybe I would be worried, but after all I am always relaxed, and concerned… 

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